Mark’s Kaddy Korner

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My brother Dan, caddying for Tamie Durdin this week, moaned about the greens, rough and weather. The long hitter “Durds” was struggling in the practice rounds but fired a two opener and made the cut tied for 36th. “There’s no reason for the standard bearers to carry any red numbers after the first day” he said. “Absolutely the toughest U.S. Open track he’s ever been on in his 25+ caddy years, someone could hurt themselves out here,” he sighed.

Michelle Wie, prodded by mother, came in a month ago for practice rounds then called her caddy last Tuesday wanting him at Oakmont Friday for their first official practice session. Her mom wore her out again and she faded quickly the first round. Hopefully, one of these days they’ll realize a little rest helps preparation a bunch. Didn’t Michelle play really well at the Solheim Cup without th “Hawk” shadowing her around the practice area.

A course like Oakmont you can’t quite prepare for, you only have to survive it. Get your lines off the tee and keep it below the hole even if you’re putting a five footer. The greens aren’t fair but you still have to play them and they are running three feet faster than the last Women’s Open. Diabolical, confounding, unrewarding. You play your ass off, hit a good shot and it might suck back 30+ yards from the pin after landing close. I’m not quite sure how members enjoy playing this track every day.

Hopefully the “caderros” found Bob’s Garage in nearby Blaunox. A local haunt so dark you’re eyes never adjust, cold beer and air, plus a holiday decor next to none. The locals only recognize each by the bar stool they’re sitting in, it’s too dark for faces. A wonderful place to retreat from the heat, quench a thirst and pick up a beauty, until you get home. You can definitely forget about Oakmont here, nobody knows much about golf making it a great respite for caddies.

Oakmont has held numerous USGA events, right up there with Merion, Baltustrol and Pinehurst. They keep coming back punishing our finest golfers, thank god they removed the trees. Numbers one and ten may be the toughest starting holes in all of golf with the course bunkering just plain penal. At least the scoreboard is laced with a lot of names we can pronounce. For some reason the Asian contingent skipped this week.

It’s golf in a penal way. Firing away from pins and lagging ten footers isn’t really my idea of golf. But, you marry Oakmont with the USGA and the fireworks begin. Thankfully it only lasts a week. Watching cameras zoom in on trickling putts waiting for them to stop doesn’t raise the TV ratings. Balls should stay on the green after they lip out. Dan said Tammie three putted the par fives Thursday, quite frustrating for a long hitter.

It’s a plodders week, it won’t be exciting golf but the ladies at the top of the board will definitely earn their paycheck. The four to five inches betweeen the ears will be very important. As the third round gets underway there is only one E on top. Standard bearers lighten your load leave the red numbers at volunteer headquarters.

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