Mark’s Kaddy Korner

Week Before the Season Starts

It’s been a long while since I was able to warm up in Florida before the season started. Luckily we escaped the Midwest before the storm of the century hit and landed in Bonita Springs Monday night. Mom and Dad put up with me for the week, the Happy Valley pool was exactly what the doctor ordered to rehab the new hip plus the relaxing week gave me time to tie up all the loose ends before heading out on tour.

My Torrey Pines picks looked pretty good going into the weekend and not bad entering the last round but Haas floundered, Tiger was beat by a high-school kid, both letting one of my second foursome picks, Bubba Watson, the other lefty, sneak in for a win. He was in my fantasy league don’t know why I didn’t carry him along here. Anyway it wasn’t a bad week for Kaddy Korner, poor Tiger has a long way to go though.

 

Let’s hope this happens to  all of us!   98 and no enemies -  human  interest story. All golfers should live so long as to be this kind of old man! Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked,  “How many of  you have forgiven your enemies?” 80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, an avid golfer named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was bad, “Mr. Barnes, it’s obviously not a good morning for golf. It’s good to see you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?” “I don’t have any,” he replied gruffly.“Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?” “Ninety-eight,” he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.“ Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the  world?” The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, “I outlived all the sons of bitches.”

Farmers Insurance Open Preview

Tiger’s here this week, that’s all that matters. The PGA Tour could be playing on airport runways and if the Woods guy shows up there will be a huge crowd with loads of media static. He has roamed Torrey Pines in La Jolla since childhood destroying the course and his opposition on a regular basis. I think there’s 13 trophies from Torrey resting someplace with Tiger Woods name engraved on them. Tiger remembers coming to the tournament when he was 6 or 7 and playing the course at an early age. Yes he’s my favorite and everyone else’s teeing it up in a fantasy league. The only question is how low will he go and how much will the winning margin be.

 

Football is almost over and golf is getting fired up but I’m always following my beloved Cubs. They hired a new manager, Mike Quade, in the off season and I had the privilege of playing against him back in my college days. He was one of those guys who left an impression but his golf game sucks.

Miking the PGA

Golf Channel wants microphones on tour players. Why? Golf is a quiet, pastoral sport; nothing much goes on inside the ropes, except golf. Why would anyone want to listen to conversation amongst player and caddie or other players in the group, the gallery, their wives, tour officials, volunteers, or anyone they feel like talking with including themselves? It’s the inner sanctum golf viewers know nothing about and think there’s exciting tête-à-tête in the fairway. Believe me, it’s about 75% drudgery, 20% fun, and 5% who knows what the hell is going to happen.

If you’re going 36 on Sunday a caddy can’t pick a better track than Waialae CC. It’s short, flat, has a temperate climate and the scenery ain’t bad next to the ropes, up the mountain slopes, and along the shore. If you pay attention to the wind, grain on the greens, nibble on a couple of PB&J sandwiches along with some fruit and suck down a few bottles of H2O you should be okay.

While my quiche was finishing up in the oven, yes real old caddies eat quiche, I checked emails and received a quick note from Sandy, Tom Kite’s caddy. The Champions Tour just released the following statement: